What's Zee been up to?

I am alive. I am surviving. I am mad at the NHS. Sp having a regular one.

I have basically spent a month dissociating, with occsional breaks to curse at my GP for ignoring me constantly. Finally did get in contact, so got to switch some meds, however I now need to have a v invasive exam that will send me into a breakdown (at best) sooooo...Really enjoying life rn. No one talk about my degree, I basically have missed everything and am fully convinced I'll have to retake the year cause I still can't make sense of anything from the department. But I am going to stay alive out of spite. If god wants me dead, they can kill me themself. So yeah, finding coping mechanisms where I can. I have my Lasagne Trick- whenever I get into active SI territory, I stop everything to make lasagne :] This gives me something else to do, something I'm pretty good at (stroke the ego a bit), and guarentees I'll be eating some actual food for a bit. Would reccomend. Considering upping antidepressant prescription again, but am waiting to settle a bit more before I try any more chemical fuckery. But yeah, been doing more art, made a couple zines, trying out more yoga. Hope you're staying safe and well.

I am actively in the interval for the show I'm DSM for rn. Its still practice runs so not vital I pay attention. Anyway, hiiii I haven't done shit to the site but I will eventually lol

No progress on lecturers and accessibility but I'm sure it's fine..I'm totally ok, definitely not overjoyed Tech crew is taking up my whole schedule rn so I can't go to class...I'm always on top of all my work and never had breakdowns over it. Totally cool and chill. I've got reading week coming up so will be taking a manditory cat therapy week off (aka going home). Hopeflly by then, my GP will actually look at my message...won't go into details cause it's menstration related and ik some people are weird about that kinda stuff, but I will say PMDD is soooooo fun to deal with (/s) and the NHS always takes medication worries seriously and in good time...

I GOT THE SHRINE STUFF WORKING AAAAAAAA

So proud of myself fr. You're still not allowed to look at the archive tho. That doesn't exist £

Anywho, am in full swing with uni stuff. Got an AniSoc showing this evening and basically a booked week lol. Includig a cat cafe trip. Have I mentioned the cat cafe trip? I'm going to a cat cafe. Very normal about it lol. Other than that, I've got a few coffee chats and a bar meetup. Nice and easy start ig, still hate most of my lecturers tho.

New year new me? Idk, we'll see. Trying to boost confidence and experiment with my personal style a bit more, also been growing my hair out and it's currently longer than it's been in years O_O Getting used to it. Also back at uni- my room is an utter mess and I need to do a proper stock of the fridge cause idk what I'm gonna eat beyond pasta.

Anyway, planning some updates to the site, idk when/if they'll appear. Made some new art I'll upload at some point. I've got a lot of coursework coming up and I'm not prepared for any of it ££ Partly cause I got some fun info from the rheumatologist- bloods came back ok, just got a suspiciously high dsDNA. It's still in the normal range (barely) but may not stay that way. But becauseeverything is """normal""" I'm not getting any further help. Woooooo. Also, I have no idea why my journal archive is refusing to format correctly, so please do not look at it until it's actually done lol